


Going Through the Motions

by reptillian_paladin



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Electrocution, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Underage Drinking, but for a very different purpose than getting popular, but like. comfort is gonna be in future chapters, he doesnt die, he. well he dies but comes back, michael gets a squip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-05 16:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11581713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptillian_paladin/pseuds/reptillian_paladin
Summary: Michael wants to give up after Jeremy abandons him at the party. He's done.But he doesn't want to cause anyone grief.His ideal plan would be to not have to experience life but have something control his body in a way that no one would notice it's not him.Wait... can a SQUIP do that?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> holy shit not only 2 fics in one day but 2 fics in the same fandom and this one???? gonna have some Chapters. what the Fuck.
> 
> also warning for suicide stuff bc michael is trying to die when he hands over control to the SQUIP so. it's not graphic in any way but it's there.
> 
> i was considering making michaels squip appear as jeremy but like, jeremy had no connection to keanu that was just the "default" setting so idk idk i didnt want to complicate things

Sobbing on the floor of a bathroom after being called a loser by his only friend wasn't exactly a high point in Michael's life.

 _I want to die._ Was that true? He knew things would get better in college. Probably. He had to make some friends then, right?

It didn't fucking matter. Michael didn't care at that point how great college might be.

He wasn't in college.

And no matter how good it might be, it wouldn't justify the waiting. Every day, going to class, going through the motions, speaking to no one, having Jeremy ignore him- he didn't want to do that.

So yeah, he wanted to die. He didn't want to deal with any of this.

 _Would anyone care?_ No. No one- fuck he knew that was a lie. Jeremy cut him off but he was high on popularity and under the influence of a SQUIP. If Michael died- and if Jeremy ever got back to being Jeremy- it would hurt him. He didn't want that.

And he didn't want to hurt his parents either. And he definitely didn't want a funeral where a bunch of popular kids who never spoke to him show up and say how tragic his death was.

So he didn't want any of that.

He just wanted a way out without it affecting anyone else. If only he could take a backseat in his mind and stop experiencing anything while someone else takes over and lives his life.

Shit. Can a SQUIP do that?

That's how he found himself at Payless the next day.

"I've got the $400." He laid the money down in front of the stockboy.

"We just got a new shipment." He takes a pill from a shoebox and hands it to Michael. "You were here before with your friend. You know the rules."

"Yup. Take it with Mountain Dew. Hey, uh, it doesn't only do like, popularity, right?"

"It'll listen to whatever your main goal is. It has trouble when you want to change your goal, though, and takes things too far often."

Michael uncapped the Mountain Dew he had brought with him, took the pill from the stockboy, and downed it. He thanked him on the way out.

It was a few minutes before he felt the pain. He had barely made it to his car by that point, no time to sit and wait for it.

"Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort."

Pain, pain, pain. Well, dying isn't supposed to be painless, right?

"Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated. Discomfort level may increase."

Michael cried out and spasmed.

"Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete. Michael Mell, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor... your-"

"SQUIP, got it." Michael interrupted in a pained voice. "Alright, Keanu, listen up. I don't give a shit about being cool. Here's what I want you to do. I want to be pushed back into some part of my brain where I can't experience anything so I'm effectively dead. And I want you to be me. Not cool-me. Do exactly what you calculate I would do. Live my life. Don't bother Jeremy but if he needs help do anything for him, even if you have to go against other SQUIPs, help him. Don't let anyone know I've become a SQUIP. Maybe even, if yoy can, try to- uh- cloak yourself from other SQUIPs? Can you do that?"

"That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."

"Can you do it?"

"Of course."

"Then go right ahead."

And Michael knew nothing beyond that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events at the play go as expected until a certain code is spoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh... literally murder me its 1 am as i start typing this on my phone.

Michael's SQUIP knew its mission and performed it well. It could figure out what Michael would do at any single moment. It had access to his whole brain, after all.

It also, luckily, had access to his stash of Mountain Dew Red.

It found itself going through every thing exactly as Michael would have it, even making an entrance at the school play with a 2 liter of the soda.

Just one problem.

"Jake, this is gonna sound weird, but if I hold down Jeremy, can you make him drink this Mountain Dew Red?" He tossed the bottle to Jake.

"Actually, that doesn't sound weird at all."

Jeremy heard his SQUIP interrupt the plans. "Up up down down left right A."

Jake poured the soda on the ground but what worried Jeremy was that Michael's body went totally rigid, as if awaiting orders.

An evil smirk broke out on his SQUIP's face. "I wasn't even expecting that! Why didn't I sense that your little boyfriend had a SQUIP?" He stood still for a moment, analyzing information. "Oh, that is just pathetic!"

"Michael, when did you do this?" Jeremy sounded like a lost little kid when he asked the other boy, who still didn't respond.

"I control him now." the SQUIP laughed. "I control the whole school!"

The voice of his friend spoke. "Hey Jeremy, you were right. I was being too much of a loser before. I can be chill for your new friends, though."

Jeremy ground his teeth and barely noticed what Brooke and Chloe were saying to him as they flanked him.

He noticed the few drops left in the Mountain Dew bottle that lay across the room, though.

He looked up at Michael. "I really wish I had my Player 1 right now. We should be in this together." He silently pleaded at Michael to pop back and say it was all a joke, but nothing came.

He closed his eyes and made a decision. When he opened them he started shoving his classmates aside with a determination he didn't think was possible. He's never been this good at fighting off zombies, never quite as good as Michael.

The most concerning part was how the SQUIP didn't seem like he was trying his best to stop it. He wasn't panicking when Jeremy was within arm's reach of the bottle, only smiling when he lifted it.

Jeremy hardly noticed this at the moment, though. He raised the bottle to taunt his SQUIP. "Hasta la vista, ba-"

"Michael will die."

Of all the things the SQUIP could have said that Jeremy could ignore, this was far from one of them.

The bottle was lowered slightly. "You can kill people?"

And the SQUIP chuckled, because Jeremy didn't get it. "It's so much better than that, Jeremy. Your friend got a SQUIP, essentially, to kill himself. Had it lock him in a part of his brain where he could be the equivalent of dead and it lives his life how he would. You drink that, all the SQUIPs I'm linked to go dark. Including Michael's. And without ordering his SQUIP to restore Michael to his own brain first, well, he's just going to be brain dead for eternity."

Jeremy felt bile rise up in his throat. "You're lying." _Michael wouldn't kill himself. But you thought he wouldn't get a SQUIP, either._

"Do you really want to take that chance? Kill him forever?"

Jeremy looked around at all the people he was letting down. He locked eyes with each and every one of the students who were SQUIPped. Then he looked at the one he'd already let down. Michael.

The years of being with his best friend flooded his memory all at once. It came to a screeching halt when he remembered the Halloween party.

 _"Get out of my way. Loser."_ The line echoed in his mind.

"Is that when he did it?" He was barely holding back tears.

"The very next day." the SQUIP answered.

Jeremy let out a choked sob. "I can't let him down again. This time, I have to choose him." He reluctantly tipped the soda bottle upside down and let the last few drops run out. Brooke gently took the bottle from him and he fell to his knees.

"Give him back. Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry the chapters in this are so short :/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k stuff in this chapter
> 
> -underage drinking  
> -shocking and electrocution  
> -choking (on like. vodka)

Michael's eyes widened. "Wait, hold on, where am I? Tell me the afterlife isn't in a high school."

Jeremy let out an involuntary sob.

"Jeremy? You're not dead too, right? What happ-" He paused, as if to listen to someone. "Dammit, he wasn't supposed to find out!" He squeezed the bridge of his nose. "I get it, you got hacked." Another pause. "Wait, he dumped the Mountain Dew for me?" He looked at his friend to confirm and was met with a small nod.

"Jeremy! You shouldn't have done that, it was your last shot at getting rid of this thing!"

There was a slight anger in Jeremy's voice when he responded. "You would have died!"

"I'm okay with that!"

"I'm not!" Jeremy got to his feet. "I need you. I have a shitty way of showing it these past few months but you're more important than all of this. And I'm so sorry I drove you to do what you did."

"That's not- Jeremy look around! Everyone is just- they're all zombies!" He gestured to the circle of students staring blankly at the scene, with smiles plastered on their faces.

Suddenly the students spoke in unison. "We're just so happy to be such good friends with everyone now."

Michael took a step away from Jake, who was closest to him. "Yeah, see? Horrifying. You doomed all these people, was that worth saving me?"

"Yes." No hesitation.

"I- Jeremy, that's-" He stopped midsentence.

"That's enough of that chatter, isn't it?" Jeremy's SQUIP yawned.

"What? No, let him go!" 

The SQUIP laughed. "Good one. No, I think I did enough. He's alive, isn't he? Now you should mingle with your other peers, don't you think?"

"Jeremy, don't you want to talk to me?" Christine appeared from the group. "Better yet, we can link our minds and know everything about each other. Isn't that great?"

He looked over her shoulder at Michael, who looked like he was desperately trying to say something. He had an idea. A way to fix things.

Jeremy just had to distract the SQUIP long enough for Michael to spit it out.

He didn't really think about what he did next, because if he did there would have been time for the SQUIP to stop it.

His hand was in a fist and launching itself at Christine as his mind was making apologies.

But his movement was stopped an inch away from her face.

"What are you doing, Jeremy?" The SQUIP was furious.

"-foil hats!" Was all Michael could get out before he was shut up again.

But it was enough.

 _Of course!_ Jeremy almost kicked himself for not thinking of it first. The two had watched enough science fiction to know that aluminum foil blocked radio waves- which is the exact way Jeremy's SQUIP was linked to the others.

He just had to cover himself in enough foil to at least let the others fight it out with their own SQUIPs. But where would he find any?

Quite possibly backstage at a low-budget high school production.

"Too bad I won't let you use your legs." The SQUIP was one step ahead of him.

Jeremy did the only thing he could.

He thrashed his arms around and yelled. Even as he got zapped in return.

His SQUIP quickly silenced him and stopped his movements.

But Michael picked up where he left off. Christine started doing it. Some others tried to join in. And as they were slowed down, Jeremy could feel his SQUIP's hold on him lessen.

Because goddammit, this may be a quantum computer, but it had to keep a fully sentient AI running and control a whole group of teenagers.

And it had been running nonstop for a month.

Not to mention this isn't even fully released technology.

You can overload it.

Jeremy found his feet moving slowly, slowly, one step at a time, ignoring the shocks he received every few seconds.

Behind him, the whole group was slowly trying to do anything to distract the SQUIP, which ended up being a lot of flailing and yelling.

Suddenly, the hold on Jeremy was released completely. He could suddenly run to where the cheap craft supplies for props were kept.

But the yelling behind him turned into shrieks of agony.

He spared a glance behind him to find his classmates writhing on the ground, no doubt being shocked horribly.

"What the hell?" Jeremy asked as he dug into the box of materials.

"Wonder if I could amp it up and kill your friends."

"Don't you dare." Jeremy ground out as he grabbed the tube of foil. "Besides, how would I be popular then?"

"Fair enough. I could kill one of them, though."

"Fuck you!" He pulled the foil out and frantically wrapped it around his head, trying to get it as covered as possble.

The screaming across the room stopped.

"How boring. I can still control you, though."

Pain erupted all over Jeremy's body. "Pull it off your head!" The SQUIP insisted.

"No!" Even so, Jeremy felt his arms reaching towards his head and the pain increase due to his resistance. He couldn't help but scream.

"Jeremy!" He couldn't even process who said his name, but soon there was something holding down his arms. "Quick guys, get some foil on your head before he takes his off! And someone get some alcohol!"

Michael. It was Michael.

"Christine, good, you're done, help the others who haven't gotten up yet. Ah!" He repositioned himself as Jeremy tried to fling him off. "No, help them first, I'll be fine!"

Damn him. Jeremy wished he could tell Christine to ignore Michael's self-sacrificial bullshit.

But he couldn't seem to form words.

"I've got some booze!" Jake. That was Jake.

"I'm holding him down, pour it in his mouth!"

The bottom of the foil was lifted and there was suddenly liquid falling into his open mouth, on his face, everywhere. Jeremy tried to keep from thrashing too much.

He was suddenly pulled up into a sitting position. "C'mon Jer, swallow it."

As if the taste of straight vodka didn't make him want to spit it out enough already, there was the constant pain and the SQUIP insisting he _get it out get it out._

He tried his best to swallow it, but mostly ended up with it going down his windpipe. He started choking as more was poured down his throat. Really choking.

_You have to let me swallow this one if you don't want me dead._

The SQUIP conceded. "Fine."

And suddenly he could use his muscles freely. He drank the vodka until the SQUIP started disappearing.

And then he started coughing. Violently coughing, trying to get the liquid out of his lungs.

"Mi- ch- el" He managed between coughs, his eyes watering.

"Jeremy! You're back!" He let himself rejoice for a moment. But then he realized what was happening. "Shit. Breathe, Jeremy, come on!"

It took a while, but finally Jeremy could take full breaths without coughing, but the itching in his throat did not go away. "I'm okay, I'm okay!"

The foil was torn off the rest of his face and he looked up. The rest of his classmates all had foil covering their heads, save for small holes for their eyes.

"Alright guys, I need you to keep him drunk. If you have enough, get yourselves drunk too. I have a small bottle of Red left at home. We can still do this!" Michael cheered before he ran off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is uhhhh,,, not where i expected the story to go but its what i ended up typing. sure is an adventure,,


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey kiddos sorry ive dropped off for a while i lost my Momentum and then of course, stopped all work on this whatsoever for weeks. rip.

Do you know how it takes forever to get out of a parking lot after a performance? Say, a concert, a comedy show, and to a lesser but sill irritating extent, a school play?

Yeah. Michael knew.

He was irritated because _most of the cars should have cleared out by now, weren't they fighting the SQUIP for a decent chunk of time after the show?_

You would think the parking lot would be clear by now. It wasn't, of course, but you would think so.

And that's why it took half an hour to get to his house and grab the Mountain Dew Red.

Or, as it so happened, reach for the Mountain Dew Red only to get a shock that sent Michael reeling back.

"Ow! Okay, no, you're not deciding what I do. You were only here for mimicking what I would do anyway, and that's helping Jeremy." He glared at his SQUIP.

"Maybe that's how it started out, but it has occured to me that I ought to have _some_ semblance of self-preservation. You wouldn't know what that's like, but-"

"No. You were here to do what I wanted, and you- you didn't even do that right!" He reached for the Mountain Dew again and was merely zapped once more.

"That wasn't my fault! I'm just saying I've rethought the idea of helping my own demise."

Michael let out a frustrated cry. "Fine. I'll- I'll say I already had it! Pour a little out before I get there, have everyone keep their foil on their heads as I pass the bottle around to keep the network down, you'll be fine! And then you can stay in my head for as long as you like and tell me what to do and shock me and-"

"No."

"Well what do you want?" Michael was desperate now, close to crying.

"I get full control. Just like before."

Michael was shaking. He didn't want this anymore. He didn't- "And you'll save Jeremy? And the others? You'll destroy the other SQUIPs?"

"Of course."

"Deal." And Michael was gone again.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael was back.

"Guys! Everyone line up, and make sure you have the foil around your head. If your SQUIP is linked to a network, it's gonna be a lot worse getting it out of your head!" This was a blatant lie, but it wasn't like the mostly-drunk teenagers were going to figure that out. Michael passed the bottle down the line and took it back after each person had their sip, as they would typically fall to the floor soon after. Finally he got to Jeremy.

"Michael, don't you- don't you need some?"

Michael smiled. "No need, already did before I came here."

Jeremy gave a nod and started to lift the bottle to his lips, but then froze. "Wouldn't you have passed out?" He gestured to their classmates. "They all fell to the ground screaming and then passed-"

A quantum supercomputer can think of trillions of excuses every second. "I took a while to get here, don't you remember? My dad had to wake me up off the floor."

Jeremy's eyes crinkled at Michael, trying to determine why his words felt like such lies. Then he gasped as his SQUIP started reappearing, greeting him with another shock.

"Put the bottle down, Jeremy."

Jeremy jolted as another shock hit him. Luckily Michael also had a hold on the bottle by now, so it couldn't be spilled.

Jeremy's SQUIP was yelling by now. "Stop this! You'll never be popular now! You'll never-"

The Mountain Dew Red was poured down his throat, with help from Michael.

"That's not Michael!"

Those were the last words the SQUIP left Jeremy with before the pain set in and was followed by darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> comment to donate to this supercool kickstarter called my self esteem 
> 
> my tumblr is gavrockandroll


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